What is a Death Doula?

End-of-life doulas, or death doulas, are the missing link in our care system, encouraging us to honor death as an integral and sacred part of life. We are part of a cultural shift aimed at taking death from a place that is fearful, unknown, and highly medicalized, and bringing it back home.

Death doulas don’t replace your medical or hospice team. We are not medical professionals. Rather we support your needs in conjunction with your medical team. We bridge the gaps. We offer more time and attention to allow you to be more present and comfortable. While dying can sometimes be a complicated experience, we can all use a compassionate and understanding presence by our side. Someone who has gained wisdom and experience from walking down this road before. And, someone who can help you enter this mysterious and sacred space. It’s about finding peace and solace as you are nearing your end of life.

Doulas help individuals and their loved ones be present as they approach end of life. We assist in educating and navigating you through the options available to you, which can mitigate some of the fears we have about death. People who have end of life discussions are more content in their final days and families are thankful they took the time for these conversations. As outsiders we are able to offer what may be too difficult for friends or family to do.

End-of-life doulas aim to empower you. A good death is when you have choice and power over what you do. When you plan for your death, you take control and are able to define your end-of-life wishes allowing you to live with more peace and ease.

A death doula serves as a kind of project manager. Someone who
helps to coordinate a wide range of supportive services.
You choose whatever offerings best suit your needs.

Planning for the Living

I work with people at any time in their life to create a comprehensive end-of-life plan. What does your end of life look like? This work encourages you to make informed choices that are right for you. Knowing that your wishes and desires are written down will provide a sense of relief to you and your loved ones, leaving your family with less work later on and to know that they are doing the right thing for you. End-of-life planning is a gift that you make to those you leave behind.

Caring for the Dying

I provide emotional, spiritual and practical support for the dying and their family. I am here to talk openly and frankly about death, life, fears, regrets and wishes. What matters most to you? Opening up to the unknown and the uncomfortable allows for peace to enter. I am here to support and guide you as you begin to grieve the many losses you are about to experience. This reminds us that everything in life is impermanent and opens us up to the present moment. While dying you are still living.

I will advocate for your wishes while working with your family and healthcare providers. Everyone involved may have differing opinions of what your end of life should look like. That is why it is important to think about this early on and to be clear about what you want. As a death doula and an outsider we can help mediate the situation.

Exploring the meaning of one’s life brings inner peace and comfort. The life review is a way to engage in your accomplishments and release any regrets or guilt you may still be holding on to. This allows you time to heal. Creating a legacy project gives you the opportunity to share your life stories, values, wisdom, and traditions with the people you love and care about. It is a gift to future generations and to those who were important to you in your lifetime.

Support After Death

I continue to offer assistance after a death. Did you know that you can spend time with your loved one after they have passed? There is no rush to call the funeral home. I can assist in crafting rituals or ceremonies that are meaningful to you. I am also available to guide loved ones at the beginning of the grieving process and can help you with the many tasks of wrapping up affairs.

Here are some ways I can help:

• Be present to listen to your needs and the needs of those around you.

• Talk openly without judgment about death and dying.

• Help get paperwork and documents in order. This is an act of love, leaving your loved ones with less work later on.

• Educate you on the growing range of options available for end-of-life stages and burials.

• Offer you resources to guide you to make educated and informed decisions.

• Explore the meaning of your life and legacy. This can be a deep way to explore the richness of your life and the impact you’ve had on others.

• Advocate for your medical wishes to be sure you will receive the care that aligns with your values and end-of-life care plan.

• Provide respite to the caregiver.

• Sit bedside vigil during final hours.

• Help with wrapping up affairs.

• Guide family and loved ones through the early stages of the grieving process.

Kind Words

  • Orlie is a gentle, compassionate caregiver that understands from personal experience what a loved one goes through when navigating end of life. As a Reiki practitioner and certified end-of-life doula, she fills a need for the patient and their family that the medical community doesn't provide. As a social worker I would highly recommend having Orlie assist with someone's end of life journey.

    MM, Social Worker

  • I have witnessed Orlie’s growing commitment to provide high quality death doula and Reiki services. She possesses a wonderful capacity to listen deeply and respond with warmth and compassion. Her unique and tremendously valuable lived experience motivates her to be of service and provides the foundation for her wise care. You will be in good hands with Orlie.

    MZ, Interfaith Buddhist Chaplain

  • Today, with the sacred wisdom gleaned from her husband's death, Orlie designs transformative experiences for the dying and their families, offering support and hope through all the changes that accompany loss. I can think of no one more suited and splendid to be at a bedside in challenging times.

    AC, Funeral Director

  • Orlie is a skilled practitioner of Reiki, well versed in the language of energy work. She is a knowledgeable, competent, experienced guide for those seeking a graceful, kind and loving path as they consciously transition from this world. If you seek a peaceful, purposeful end of life plan that respects and reflects your values, Orlie is your guide.

    SW, Yoga Therapist & Reiki Practitioner

  • Orlie is dedicated, caring and insightful. She has both the strength and humility to effectively support those who are at a challenging crossroad in their life. She is clearly committed to make a positive difference in the lives of her clients.

    MM, Psychotherapist